“fantasy realm shattered sky”

bp
if any more of you fuckers die please oh please don’t tell me im fucked up on the couch and you’re trying to cheer me up im crying on the floor it’s always when im awake longer than i should be
i cant let go of the grief i cant put down the thing 


misplaced my orb
there’s something evil hidden behind a soft unfamiliar glow 
and something safe hidden in the stomach of the old piano 
there’s money and drugs hidden all around 
there’s comfort and safety in the chaos that abounds 
sorted and organized and given a place to be 
hidden in closet boards hidden behind paintings (dealing with the chaos I am dealing)
you would’ve loved it here  


kitchen 
it’s so hard to stay hopeful 
tracing systems like a grid 
only semblance of meditation 
is disassociating in the thick of it
where does the hurt start?
where to begin
I don’t wanna do this standing in the kitchen 

finding the root of the conflict
only to find another root
demonic handkerchief magic trick
grief and truth
where does the hurt start?
how much time do i get this time
i don’t wanna do this standing in the kitchen
just give me the bad news  


live in coinjock
be here now where you’re supposed to be 222 over (infinity)
an opportunity to move energy for nothing
two hour twilight fishing cruise
be here now where you’re supposed to be 222 over (infinity)  


sun poisoning 2: blood poisoning 
keep my grief in my chest til it’s my center of gravity (too heavy) 


bang energy drink can crushing hope (train insane or remain the same)
i would like real change in my life i would like to see it i would like to be part of it in my time to hold still to have faith to move on small steps can go far if you can keep it up i would like to build something but you would never see it happen  


sky constructed (student cello)
slow metronome and the same four chords that i turn to when im bored
change the shape or remain i find myself all the same i will remain the same 
take my time take this time breathing exercise
a summer spent looking at the sky accepting comfort can’t be mine
if this is the only comfort i find i will make my own sky