Once, I got some mugwort salve in the mail from Jonah in Seattle. When I use it, I typically place it on my temples, wrists, my cupid's bow, or my collarbones before bed. Lately, though, I've been putting it on the soles of my feet only.
Jason is a baby and we are near a lake. It's someone’s birthday. A group of friends is swimming and decide to swim back to the house. Instead of swimming with them, I decide to get out of the water and run down the dock towards the house.
I am a child at my childhood home. My dad is painting the house. I jump in the pool in the backyard.
People think I am drowning myself but I was just wanting to swim.
Me and * are attempting to take a shower together. White shower curtain, cream-colored tub.
Like the TV show Alone. It is the middle of winter and me and others are meant to accomplish survival at a frozen lake. A man with bow and arrow tries to shoot something and the arrow skids into the lake, lost to the water.
Somewhere that looks like Washington DC. The aux cord on my car radio isn’t working and I’m embarrassed. Jessica is driving Mikey and Ky Why. While driving, we are watching a video of a choir performance Jessica was in. There is one part of the performance where she rises out of a pool of water and begins to sing.
I was angry about the messiness of the kitchen and I cut my finger on a knife in the process of cleaning. I sat down and cried for a few minutes while tightly holding my finger but blood dripped all over the floor. It was a deep magenta, not quite red. There was broken glass and debris all over the floor as well. Jason's partner told me they had cleaned the snow off of a picnic table and I gave a terse thanks and they told me to fuckoff. We had a dialogue about it while my finger was bleeding and came to a kind of understanding. Jack and I drove in a blizzard to go sledding with friends who had driven ahead and drove on a road thick with fresh snow, in circles around a mountain. When trying to park the car I kept getting buried by drifts of snow. I cried at one point, covered and briefly unable to breathe. Later, I was walking down a dark and shadowy road in the park and texted Jonah three photos. They responded mentioning they were reading a haiku book called Cake Brown.
I was driving a clunky car around Louisville, KY and went down Speed Avenue. I went down the street twice before stopping at Corey's old house. It was fall and summer at the same time. I knocked and no one was there, but I went inside anyway to look around because the door was unlocked. As I was entering the kitchen I heard the door open and Anthony came in. He discovered me but didn’t seem to be phased. We went upstairs briefly and on the way down I realized Corey was there; I could see them laying in a bed through glass french doors that looked like the doors of my childhood home's inglenook room. They saw me and the doors opened. I asked, “Is this okay? That I'm here?” and they said yes. I got into bed with them and stared into their face and started to cry.