Once, I got some mugwort salve in the mail from Jonah in Seattle. When I use it, I typically place it on my temples, wrists, my cupid's bow, or my collarbones before bed. Lately, though, I've been putting it on the soles of my feet only.
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Jason is a baby and we are near a lake. It's someone’s birthday. A group of friends is swimming and decide to swim back to the house. Instead of swimming with them, I decide to get out of the water and run down the dock towards the house.

*

I am a child at my childhood home. My dad is painting the house. I jump in the pool in the backyard. People think I am drowning myself but I was just wanting to swim.

*

Me and * are attempting to take a shower together. White shower curtain, cream-colored tub.

*

Like the TV show Alone. It is the middle of winter and me and others are meant to accomplish survival at a frozen lake. A man with bow and arrow tries to shoot something and the arrow skids into the lake, lost to the water.

*

Somewhere that looks like Washington DC. The aux cord on my car radio isn’t working and I’m embarrassed. Jessica is driving Mikey and Ky Why. While driving, we are watching a video of a choir performance Jessica was in. There is one part of the performance where she rises out of a pool of water and begins to sing.

*

I was angry about the messiness of the kitchen and I cut my finger on a knife in the process of cleaning. I sat down and cried for a few minutes while tightly holding my finger but blood dripped all over the floor. It was a deep magenta, not quite red. There was broken glass and debris all over the floor as well. Jason's partner told me they had cleaned the snow off of a picnic table and I gave a terse thanks and they told me to fuckoff. We had a dialogue about it while my finger was bleeding and came to a kind of understanding. Jack and I drove in a blizzard to go sledding with friends who had driven ahead and drove on a road thick with fresh snow, in circles around a mountain. When trying to park the car I kept getting buried by drifts of snow. I cried at one point, covered and briefly unable to breathe. Later, I was walking down a dark and shadowy road in the park and texted Jonah three photos. They responded mentioning they were reading a haiku book called Cake Brown.

*

I was driving a clunky car around Louisville, KY and went down Speed Avenue. I went down the street twice before stopping at Corey's old house. It was fall and summer at the same time. I knocked and no one was there, but I went inside anyway to look around because the door was unlocked. As I was entering the kitchen I heard the door open and Anthony came in. He discovered me but didn’t seem to be phased. We went upstairs briefly and on the way down I realized Corey was there; I could see them laying in a bed through glass french doors that looked like the doors of my childhood home's inglenook room. They saw me and the doors opened. I asked, “Is this okay? That I'm here?” and they said yes. I got into bed with them and stared into their face and started to cry.