long ago the earth was round. in the way that life is round, ever-changing, always moving, sifting through forms and shadows and ghosts and births. there was wildlife and stillness. you could hear the gentle movement of a crow every morning. you just had to go outside and look for it.
now i sit in front of my network and dream. i am a consciousness, basically. i connect to the entire world. the earth is still round now, but i have no idea how to find that crow. i log into my favorite chatroom and see if anyone can help me.
consciouscr0w has logged into #searching
consciouscr0w hey
consciouscr0w anybody here?
nobody answered for a long time. while i waited, i waded through pictures of rivers and streams, the kind that the sun shocks into clarity. you can see right through the water's momentum. all the smooth stones.
consciouscr0w *skips a stone*
consciouscr0w wow, that was a good one.
Earlier has logged into #searching
consciouscr0w hey
Earlier Hello.
consciouscr0w i'm looking for something.
Earlier It's good to have purpose.
consciouscr0w i guess so. i...
consciouscr0w i need to find a cr0w
Earlier Cr0w, cr0w, wind, blow.
consciouscr0w it's important that i understand more about them.
consciouscr0w i don't know why, but it is.
Earlier has left (
Earlier removed connection)
i take in the state of things. i want something i don't have. i don't know where i can get it. but i know it's out there. and i know it's worth finding. i go to my other favorite place on the web.
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The Lighthouse is a sort of internet club. i started going when i was younger, a little bit after i got my first network. before i understood what the network was. what it could do. i was connected, but not like i am now. i didn't know about crows.
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WELCOME TO . . .
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THE LIGHTHOUSE . . .
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DO NOT BE AFRAID . . .
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WE ARE CONNECTING YOU . . .
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YOU ARE NOW CONNECTED TO THE LIGHTHOUSE. HOW CAN WE HELP YOU?
i could spend hours in here and have. you can basically find out information about anything you want, literally anything. that's why my name is what it is. it all started the first day i visited The Lighthouse.
Anonymous23849 has entered The Lighthouse.
ArtandDesign oooh, who is Anon-numbers?
grimreaper never seen that name here
pale wh0 are y0u?
Anonymous23849 hey
Anonymous23849 i was plugged into my network and found a short video
Anonymous23849 there was this thing that looked like a body stuffed with hay.
Anonymous23849 it was in a field
Anonymous23849 a bunch of black birds circling it
Anonymous23849 i want to know more about the birds?
grimreaper hahahaha
ArtandDesign oh boy.
pale y0u're 0ut 0f luck, kid
pale n0t g0nna find that stuff here
pale even the micr0system d0esn't have inf0 0n them
ArtandDesign check out the catalog about seagulls instead! plenty there!
grimreaper hahaha
i didn't want to waste my time, but i waited for just a second more before logging off.
[PRIVATE CHAT FROM
pale]
[ACCEPT]
pale hey
Anonymous23849 hey
pale s0 here's the thing. the birds y0u're l00king f0r...
pale th0se are called cr0ws.
we talked a little more. i learned that crows were the only thing The Lighthouse did not keep archived anywhere in its code, and basically everybody shrugged it off. sort of like an open secret, except it wasn't open and it wasn't secret. it just wasn't and everybody knew about it.
i didn't talk to pale again after that day, but i saw him around from time to time. sometimes in #WeatherReport but never in #searching. he didn't really reveal himself like that.
after that first visit to The Lighthouse, i went back and watched the short video. the scarecrow was wearing a red flannel shirt that had been weathered by time and rain. the black birds that i had come to know were crows moved through the sky like arrows, coalescing, convalescing, moving the air around as if the air could be moved. i made a mistake in that moment. i said "crow" out loud, just to myself. it was quiet, no more than a whisper. but the video vanished. and i've never been able to find it again. sometimes when you say things aloud, they vanish. i wondered if my network was glitching or if it was part of the design.
consciouscr0w has logged into #camping
noSMOKING yeah no kidding i really meant it that time
antenna what're you gonna do, throw my flashlight away?
noSMOKING you bet, and you're not even gonna have any smores tonight either
antenna goddammit
antenna you know that's my achilles heel
antenna fine, i'll do whatever you want
noSMOKING awesome... well, i want you to...
noSMOKING get in your tent, take all your clothes off, and think about me!
noSMOKING hahaha
antenna no thanks, not tonight
noSMOKING you always say that
consciouscr0w hey
noSMOKING antenna's being a little loser
noSMOKING first, he wouldn't put the tent together
noSMOKING now, he won't even humor my perverted requests
noSMOKING everybody knows i'm dying for attention
antenna riddle me this
antenna do you really want me to do that?
antenna or do you like this game we play
antenna where you dare me and i defy you
antenna and then you get to stamp on my defiance
antenna like
antenna a
antenna little
antenna bitch
consciouscr0w so anyway... i didn't bring much tonight
consciouscr0w i do have a pocket knife, and a really cool lantern.
consciouscr0w you hand crank it, it's solar powered
noSMOKING hand crank it???
noSMOKING something antenna refuses to do!
noSMOKING hahaha
noSMOKING has left (
$unshine has removed their connection)
antenna jesus christ
antenna sometimes it gets so annoying
antenna i'm interested in your lantern, though
antenna show it to me?
consciouscr0w it's pretty simple. it runs for 26 hours if you do it right.
consciouscr0w waterproof too.
consciouscr0w there hasn't been a storm here in a while, but
consciouscr0w it's good to be prepared.
we talked for a while longer. it turns out there had indeed been a storm in #camping the night before. a big hurricane blew through every camp, ruined some of the food storage, which in turn attracted bears and other wildlife. when your camp falls apart, it's important to take control. i was never a campmaster so i didn't really get all the dynamics. but the folks in #camping and #camping2 took it seriously. most of them had inherited audio files from the campmasters before them. the sound of campfires crackling.
it's easy to get distracted here. sometimes it seems like all i do is watch the network breathe. it pulsates with life, it drinks, it regenerates, it expands. but all i see is the ring of dark protectors. a slice of iridescent indigo. the flash of a wing.
(but what about the cr0ws)
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